sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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