Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
