Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I intend to get homeless drunk
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
