put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
