if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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