She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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