why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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