How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
