I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
