Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize