capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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