I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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