just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
