Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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