Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
