white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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