That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
