farters have to be the big spoon...
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Life is so much better after having sex.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
