Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
