but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
