If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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