dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
