I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
