I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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