Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
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Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
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You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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