i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
