I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
