so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
