scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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