my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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