i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
