if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
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There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
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Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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