She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
