Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
