I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
