its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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