When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
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it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
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We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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