tell your sister to shave her snatch
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
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