Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize