I skipped work to stalk him.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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