Kiss
Puke
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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