I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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