put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My breasts were aching with rage.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
