lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Mom said you looked used
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
