I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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