AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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