The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize