So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
