Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm at about main and main street
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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