I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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