no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
