he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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