id be glad to
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
