Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
