The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
