Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
