I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
is it fun? or sober?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
