I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
