so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
