You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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