The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
