they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
