Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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