After last night, I could never be a politician.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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