Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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