dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
