Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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