I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
