We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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