your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize