so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
