just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
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