i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
